Dear Doctor

Copyright © 1994 to Jane Wisniewski

Dear doctor
I would like to say
to hell with you.
You give me
a damned statistic --
I'd like to twist it up
and say
I'm as likely to be
in the small group
who are free
as in the large group
who must fight again.
I'd like to say
I'm going to survive
this thing.
You tell me
I can have chemo again,
as if it's easy.
You terrify me
with talk
of bone marrow transplant.
I'd like to say
I won't have to do that.
I'd like to say
that even if I do
I'll survive,
but having cancer
has taught me
one thing above all others--
God knows more
than I do.

So when I next
see you
you'll ask how
I am
I'll quietly answer
okay
and pray.