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Dreams of Being a Cowgirl

Cari Kastama
From: Beyond Cancer: an anthology of visual & written art, Cancer Lifeline, Seattle, WA

I am in chemotherapy for metastasized breast cancer.
           When I go into remission

I will wear cowgirl boots with tooled flowers;
        jeans that fit, but not too tight,
    and a leather jacket with a six-inch fringe.
     I will have a Western shirt embroidered
with silver beads and brightly-colored threads.
        I will sing Emmy Lou Harris songs
       and laugh and cry at the keyboard.
      I will go to rodeos and horse shows,
           travel to the desert
        and ride an appaloosa among the saguaros.
I will hear the rhythm of the horse's hooves on the trail,
           and in the barn smell the hay.
        I will lie by the side of a slow-summer river
       and let the horse drink as the water purrs by.
           I will feel the wind in my hair
        and take in the heat of the valley on my face.
I will live in sunshine and sleep below enormous night skies.
        I will drink milk and margaritas, sleep until dawn,
           and rise with the light.

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